No more need for tears. I’ve found my focus.
Sometimes we humans create and work towards goals just to keep our minds engaged and to keep ourselves focussed on things we feel we do have a level of control over. Focussing and working towards achieving things we feel that we can actually attain gives our minds a rest from the hurt and seeming hopelessness of those things we have no power to change… We figure, “At least I can move forward in some way.” And the truth is it helps, because we ultimately do move towards something… Anything.
But here’s why I hadn’t truly yet shed the tear and found the focus: I was proud of my races but had no one waiting or cheering for me at the finish. I made food for myself but had no one to share my meals with. I had ideas for all sorts of creative activities but had no one to see enjoy them when I was done. I could think of a ton of fun things I wanted to do and try but had friends too far away to enjoy them with.
But I finally understood the very simple missing piece: I needed to reach out to the people I already had in my life and create connections to even more. And that doesn’t mean that I’m needy. It just means that I’m full of love. Love for my family, love for my friends, love for happiness and love for life. I like to share my life and I like to live it in many different directions at once because it makes me feel, hectic, happy and fulfilled. I need to have adventures to look forward to, even if the adventure is one that I’ve had a million times before.
The reality is, I already had tons of people to share my life with, and I’m meeting more and creating friendships with others to share it with further… and, hopefully, I’ll find that one specific person I’m looking for soon. 🙂 ❤